Friday, 23 May 2014

Five sentence fiction: Anchor


"Nasir, what's that floating along the shore?" Myra shouted, her voice carrying along the barren beach.

Collecting garbage off the coast and selling it off to help their amma had become like a routine for them.

A huge crash of the waves brought the object of their fancy closer to the shore.

They ran towards it,  excitement in their veins, giggling like kids on a treasure hunt not knowing it indeed was a treasure of sorts.

In the evening news, it was known, two children discovered an old smuggled anchor made of gold on the beachfront.

****

Mum and I always had each other's backs.

While she was the anchor that held our little family together, Pa was the one who drifted away.

I never looked back and thought about why he left, the way he did.

Maybe he was free spirited.

Maybe he couldn't be bound by chains.

****

He lies at the bottom of the ocean now, her beloved.

As an anchor would plunge in the sea, did he sink, never to return. 

Too painful a memory.

What a lucky escape,  people said to her.

How could the gurgling and choking noises in her sleep she evade?

****

I never can seem to decide what I want to post for Five sentence fiction prompt.

Which attempt do you like best?

54 comments:

  1. All three were lovely..I particularly loved the second one!

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  2. i like sad,tragic still beautiful part so 3rd one !

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    1. aah thanks Ankur :) wrote that one last!

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  3. Wow...these are awesome...I especially like the second one! :)

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    1. Thank you! It does seem to be the favorite :)

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  4. I havnt been able to write 1 yet and u have already written 3 :O I loved second one the most :)

    Swathi Shenoy

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  5. I loved the first FSF.. The others were great too but the first was lovely..:)

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    1. hehe someone told me the first was the best before i did publish this, now i see different opinions :) I'm glad i posted all!

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  6. Your stories reminded of a poem "Inchcape Rock" by Robert Southey. I liked the second one the best ( though all were equally good)

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    1. omg, my mouth was left gaping at your comment. it was one of those poems that i did in school for elocution. I still remember the poem by heart. Thank you!

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  7. All three are simply wonderful, but I loved the second one the most.

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    1. Hehe I cant decide which one is best yet! Thanks for the read :)

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  9. Lovely! 3 stories in 1 Post! 15 lines in all. Great that you posted all the stories :)
    I especially loved the 1st one!

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    1. Thank you Anita! Yeah I was conflicted :)

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  10. I think they are all great. Decisions are not my talent. :-)
    Deb@ http://debeioneille.blogspot.com

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  11. Each of the three FSF have their own charm, be it the innocence in the first, the philosophical 2nd or the grief in the third. Loved all three Sabeeha :)

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    1. Aw, thank you Reshma, this made my day :)

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  12. awesome writing :) First one, i like the most :)

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  13. Loved the first one !! But how do u come up with so many short stories.. I find them so hard !!

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    1. Haha I can't come up with haikus the way you do woman! :p

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  14. Loved all of them, they are so good . I specially liked the way she says her father left maybe because he was free spirited!I also liked the last one ,its kind of so sad.

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    1. Thank you Nima :) I guess it does pack a punch :)

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  15. Loved it.. All three are so very meaningful. Its nice to get to read something like this on blogs. :) Keep Sharing..

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  16. Even if it's late, I am very happy that I finally stumbled across your wonderful blog. Each post is so touching and lovely.

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  17. Wonderful. Beautifully textured in so few words.

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  18. wowow an anchor of gold.. I would love to discover one ..

    Well all three are good, I found them that way. they all had a different emotion, happiness and sadness..


    Bikram

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    1. I'm glad Bikram :) well wouldn't we all want one? You already have treasure though :p

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  19. Wow! 3 entries! And all very good but I do like the darkness of number 3! x

    http://40somethingundomesticateddevil.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/anchor-5-sentence-fiction.html

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  20. Loved the 2nd the best.

    In response to your question on my Mumbai blog - No, I do not live in the Kalbadevi area, live in Bandra but find the Kalbadevi, Bhuleshwar area very fascinating. :)

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    1. Thank you Deepak, oh Bandra is beautiful! Y no images from the old rusty bandra lanes?:)

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  21. I loved each one...special in it's own way :)

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  22. Each are well written. I like the second in that it is almost lyrical.
    Here is my offering: http://mcguffysreader.blogspot.com/2014/05/brother.html

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  23. I loved the second one the most :) Beautifully expressed :)

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  24. All three are wonderful attempts!

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  25. All of them are superb...very heart touching..u always come up with things that are THE BEST!!!!!

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    1. :D thank you amuuu. You know how it is ;)

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Loved it? Hated it? Comments make my day!